1. The Facts Of Life - Lisa Welchel as Blair in her tight little schoolgirl outfit, Charlotte Rae as the insufferable Mrs. Garrett, all this and Tootie, too! The theme song to this show will be with me unto the grave.
2. Family - Late 70's dreck from notorious schlockmeister Aaron Spelling, trendy social issue scripts, pretentious acting, squeamishly lame attempts at humor. Terrible, just terrible, and I never missed an episode.
3. Dancing With The Stars - As bad as it gets, and yet, this show introduced me to some smashing babes such as Stacy Keibler and Cheryl Burke. Worth it for that alone.
4. Making The Band - An early 2000's reality show about young dudes trying to make it big in an N'Sync-type boy band. Hard to watch, and yet, curiously compelling. I actually found myself thinking about this show and wondering what was going to happen next week! Maybe this is what reality TV has done to the rest of America.
5. How I Met Your Mother - Increasingly, I don't think of this as bad TV, since it's actually getting better and better, and has induced some real belly laughs in me.
6. Ghost Whisperer - Jennifer Love Hewitt (the reason I watched it in the first place) as a psychic babe who can see ghosts. Tear jerking bullshit, boring, stupid, but I can't wait for Friday nights when it's on.
7. Highway To Heaven - Tear jerking junk culture, touchy feely sappy ass shit, and I've seen every episode.
8. Day By Day - There was only one season of this mindless crap fest, but it featured a young and smokin' hot Julia Louis Dreyfus as the obnoxious neighbor in an amazing variety of tight and stimulating yuppie outfits. If it ever comes out on DVD, I'm there!
9. The Love Boat - How can you go wrong with something this terrible? In college, my friends and I used to sit around and smoke pot with anticipatory glee and wait for this show to come on. It was like some perverse kind of sacrament. Gloriously awful!
10. Mr. Belvedere - Total trash, Hollywood at it's worst. My favorite episode features a script about date rape, and it ends with Bob Uecker chasing his daughter's would-be rapist out of the house yelling "No means no"! It doesn't get any better (or worse)!

1. The Unforgettable Fire
2. The Fly
3. Even Better Than The Real Thing
4. A Man And A Woman
5. Vertigo
6. Stay (Faraway, So Close)
7. One Tree Hill
8. I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For
9. All Because Of You
10. In A Little While

1. Girl Happy - The best, goofy college hijinks in Ft. Lauderdale with Elvis and his band (Rusty Wells & His Combo) and a smorgasbord of hot babes, including the legendary Mary Ann Mobley.
2. Spinout - More goofiness as The King plays a rock 'n roll stud who becomes the subject of a magazine article on swingin' singles. Includes Evis' priceless "Hound Dog" joke as he winks knowingly at the camera.
3. Jailhouse Rock - Elvis as 50's rock n' roll punk, the role he was born to play.
4. Tickle Me - Mid period Elvis as he finds work on a ranch that just happens to be filled with scrumptious women, including Jocelyn Lane, the King's hottest ever co-star. Totally goofy and mindless, yet highly entertaining.
5. Wild In The Country - Elvis proves he could really act, and boy, does he ever in this taut drama about juvenile delinquency and suicide. Incredibly moving ending, the real deal, proof that he had real potential as an actor.
6. Flaming Star - Another intense drama, with hardly a song in it. Elvis as a half breed torn between the white folks who raised him and his tribe.
7. Follow That Dream - Elvis plays a cross between Jethro Bodine and Forrest Gump, and carries the movie, proving what a fine comic actor he could be. Hilarious!
8. Viva Las Vegas - This movie features a young Ann Margaret in a tight black leotard. Anything else you need to know?
9. The Trouble With Girls - Elvis' last movie, and totally different to any of the others. A funny story about a 1920's carnival impresario, featuring loads of guest stars like Vincent Price, Anissa Jones (Buffy from Family Affair) and Susan Olsen (Cindy from the Brady Bunch).
10. Loving You - The King essentially plays himself in this flick, a rags to riches tale of a young rockabilly star who rises to the top and almost loses himself before the good girl back home makes him realize what really matters is love after all.

1. Scarecrow - It still strikes me as a miracle that someone could come up with something this unique and cool. Words won't suffice, listen to it, a jewel in the human crown.
2. Chapter 24 - The very definition of psychedelic, cool, mystical, and again, where did this stuff come from?
3. Lucifer Sam - Secret agent riff, scary cat sounds, awesome bass. "That cat's something I can't explain".
4. Dark Globe - I don't know what this means, but I do know that "Oh where are you now, pussy willow, who smiled on this leaf" is one of the best lyrics I've ever heard.
5. Love Song - Very simple, very direct, with a great Gilmour bass line. Sometimes simple is the best, and simple is the most difficult to do well.
6. Flaming - Imagination at it's outer limits. I'm less sad about his death than I am about the (apparent) loss of his ability 30 some years ago. What else could he have produced on this scale?
7. Wined And Dined - Nobody does wistful like Syd.
8. Gigolo Aunt - Impossibly upbeat and catchy, shows how commercial he could be while still remaining "out there".
9. Apples And Oranges - The bridge section is some of the most sublime and affecting music I've ever heard.
10. In The Beechwoods - They never got to record the words, so we can only imagine what Syd meant for this song. However, the chords are classic Syd, and the instrumental flip outs are truly mind expanding like the best psychedelia should be. Extremely evocative.

1. Hawaii 5-0 - OK, this probably tops a lot of people's lists. You really can't go wrong with this. Jack Lord! Kam Fong as Chin Ho!
2. The Munsters - Way cool mix of surf guitar and secret agent riffage, all done in an appropriately eerie style. I do an acoustic version of this in my live set, and people always go nuts for it!
3. Barney Miller - Cool ass bass line gets thing going, then it develops into a whole other thing. I wish modern TV shows would put this much thought into today's themes.
4. Drew Carey - The jaunty "Moon Over Parma" theme from the first season, not the bullshit "Cleveland Rocks" from later seasons.
5. Monk - The acoustic jazzy theme from the first season. They inexplicably changed it for the rest of the series. Why?
6. The Green Hornet - Al Hirt lets loose on the horn. This always gives me a "buzz".
7. Green Acres - Just a good song. I heard that Elvis Costello and Linda Ronstadt recorded a duet of this in the early '80's. Anyone know if this is true? I'd love to hear it if it is.
8. Addams Family - Composed by Vic Mizzy, one of my musical heroes. He also wrote the "Green Acres" theme and a bunch of incidental music and soundtrack stuff for countless Disney movies in the '60's.
9. The Beverly Hillbillies - It's always fun to make up your own pornographic versions of this song!
10. Rockford Files - I almost picked the Andy Griffith theme for this list (my favorite show) but this cool theme from the '70's edges it out.